And I really, really want to know. Bad.
Meet the Argentina Terror Gnome, or the 'Creepy Gnome' as he is called by the locals of the small town General Guemes, in the province of Salta, Argentina.
Originally reported by El Tribuno, the story of this stone-throwing devil quickly spread around the world. Just what in the hell is the thing at the end of the video, and what, if anything, can be done to stop it?
Teenager Jose Alvarez -- who filmed the gnome on his phone camera -- first told the Argentinean national newspaper El Tribuno about the heinous knee-high nightmare seen lurking about the bushes in his hometown. The video, purported to have been filmed around one in the morning, shows a group of young men hanging about speaking of their recent fishing trip.
Around 1:01 in the video you can hear an odd noise, sounding much like a whistle. The men ignore it and continue to talk.
At 1:13 in the video the camera clearly picks up the sound of a stone hitting the wall behind them. The men immediately become alarmed, searching about for the source of the stone.
At 1:20 the camera looks to the right at a clump of bushes illuminated by a street light. A dark mass of movement can be seen where the tall grass meets dirt. The camera operator obviously sees the movement, zooming the in for a close-up.
At first the men ask each other what kind of animal it is, but quickly realize they are in fact dealing with a very small, horrifying man-like creature shuffle sideways out of the grass.
The video cuts out with what can only be described as a bloodcurdling girlish scream.
I have been using the internet for a long time -- long before Al Gore invented it. I can smell a hoax a mile away, and this just doesn't have the usual reek that you get from other questionable freakish oddities like chupacabra, sasquatch, and Maddox.
The normal tip-offs in a hoax video just aren't here: The men aren't forcing conversation. They aren't just "hanging around" filming each other as if they know something weird is about to happen. There is genuine conversation, followed by confusion, curiosity, and eventually terror.
The scream at the end is what really gets me. No man yells like that unless faced with something truly and utterly frightening. I'd scream the same way if some repulsive cone-headed pygmy shuffled its way out of the bushes in the middle of the night.
In other words... You just can't make this kind of shit up. The Terror Gnome is real. I don't know what it is, but I need to understand. I need to understand this more than I have ever needed anything in my entire life. The Terror Gnome is a clarion call: I have been awakened from the daydream of a status quo existence.
I will wield the sword of truth to cut this story through to its core.
Also, I am willing to travel to Argentina to investigate The Terror Gnome for any eccentric gentlemen or fellow truth quester that wish to fund an extravagant fact-finding expedition. [--Read updates below! I'm going to Argentina, though not on anyone else's dime but my own.]
UPDATE - 03/11/2008 - 09:40am CST
This site has been up less than two hours and already three e-mails have rolled in. Two gave me links to related articles on this breaking story:
Fox News: Terror Gnome Strikes!
The Sun News: Terror Gnome Cometh!
I beat both Fox News and The Sun on the scoop! Suckers!
The third asked me if I was related to "Maddox" (linked in the information above), and if this was some lame early April Fools day joke. I have no affiliation at all with Maddox -- I just like to read his articles and linked it so people knew what I was talking about. Also, this is NOT some kind of prank or joke.
I am deadly serious about all of this.. I've never felt so passionately curious about anything in my entire life, and I mean that will complete sincerity.
UPDATE - 03/11/2008 - 12:40pm CST
Respected paranormal researcher, Dr. Alexander Hurtsog, has also picked up the banner in Terror Gnome investigation. His famous research foundation used advanced photo manipulation to produce this disturbing image:
Dr. Hurtsog commented on the photo saying, "Clearly his intentions are evil based on this photographic evidence."
I have no idea what he means by that.. It seems a little silly to me, but at least other people are as interested as I am.
UPDATE [03/12/2008] ON THIS UPDATE -- "Dr. Alexander Hurtsog" turned out to not be quite the gentleman I had imagined, nor was he really a doctor -- of medicine or otherwise. I am keeping this update in the page for my own sake as a reminder of errors made by haste to find facts. Please take Mr. Hurtsog's photo with a grain of salt; I am truly interested in facts here, and not his brand of foolishness!
UPDATE - 03/11/2008 - 4:03pm CST
This site has received over 1000 hits today since I created and submitted it to Google. I am obviously not alone, and neither are you! Spread the word! Tell your friends!
THE TRUTH WILL FIND A WAY!
UPDATE - 03/12/2008 - 01:12am CST
The response to this page has been breathtaking! It doesn't even appear in Google searches yet and already there have been 1420 hits as of this writing, all generated purely by word-of-mouth!
More exciting updates:
I received an e-mail earlier this evening written in Spanish from someone claiming to be a local expert on what he calls "fantasma pequeño", which roughly translates into "Little Phantom". Apparently word of this site reached him in Santiago, Argentina, and he wanted to add a note of speculation:
(Translated from his email using AltaVista Babel Fish Translator)
"[edited out introduction]...as you can or she cannot know, Argentina is part of the same mass of the Earth that North America. It continues being not known if this one is as soon as Little Phantom or if there is more. If these gnomos can reproduce we could have worse an epidemic one than influenza of the combined bird and global warming up themselves in our hands. It is my valuation that with half of the stature of normal of the human being these gnomos could twice reproduce in a tariff the one of the average human being. This tariff almost doubles if the gnomos trust the extraible method."
-- Dr. Jorges Boscherto
UPDATE - 03/12/2008 - 10:44pm CST
I don't want to overreact or cause undue excitement, but I have been contacted by the offices of a group that researches and documents, amongst other things, unusual phenomena. You've heard of this company and their publication, I assure you, but I don't want to divulge any information just yet.
They are sending a team of three observers to Salta, Argentina in two weeks and wanted to set up some kind of information feed directly to this site (amongst others pages which have popped up over night related to the Terror Gnome). I'll try to get more posted once I talk to a contact they gave me tomorrow -- I am VERY VERY excited!
ADDITIONAL 03/12/2008
My TerrorGnome@Gmail.com account has received over 180 emails in the past day! There is no possible way that I can respond to all of you, but I will read them all! A few interesting tidbits sent to me today:
--
"I did live in Lima Peru for a couple of years, & I did hear a lot of stories about leprechauns. One Peruvian friend there that I was close to swore up & down that he had seen one when he was a kid, around 5 or 6 years old. One of the kids in his class saw something in a tree near the window & shouted out to the rest of the class that there was a leprechaun outside. According to him, the whole class saw a short creature in the tree smiling at them & noticed them seeing him. Supposedly adults can't see them, and the teacher tried to find out what they were looking at but couldn't see anything, & thought that they were playing a joke on her so she made everyone sit down & stop looking out the window. I wish I could remember the word the used for leprechaun, but I don't think it was fantasma pequeño in Peru."
Most people would not be willing to place much credence in the fourth-person-removed anecdote a Peruvian child once made an off-handed comment about, but that certainly doesn't make it any less valid. Please have your friend write me immediately should you still be in contact with him! Let him know that, while his peers and teacher may have cast derision and mockery upon him, there is a guy on the internet somewhere that won't.
--
"Now I don't believe in most of the South American superstitions, like drinking ice cold soda after exercise will make your lungs explode, or pointing a fan directly at yourself will give you "la gripe"....[edited out boring stuff]"
While this bit of information was strangely not Terror Gnome related, I felt it important enough to make note of. The myths and superstitions of other cultures, although seemingly silly on the surface, almost always contain a little nugget of truth. I myself once contracted "la gripe", and I can tell you that you want no wooden spoon in that bowl of soup!
--
"I have had experiences as far as here, in southern Ontario. As I was hiking behind my in-law's house, I found a small yet peculiar knife. It is obviously home made, with a cheap wooden handle that is as long as the blade. The entirety of this makeshift weapon is only about 3 inches long, half blade, half handle and all made of one piece of copper. The copper is obviously home-smithed, and has a dull edge with a sharp point.
The knife was found outside of an abandoned badger's den, along a small path cleared of vegetation. No tracks were visible aside from my own. Also, there was no cause for any type of sculpture of any description in the vicinity, as I was hiking in a rather remote location. I will take a picture as soon as I get the software for my digital camera working!"
This is upsetting to say the least! Imagine a band of knife-wielding Terror Gnomes shuffling towards you from out of a badger hole! The smell alone must be stomach-churning near that vile little den. I would like to urge you to take measures to protect yourself and others should you return to that site in the future; something as simple as rat poison wrapped in cheese left at the mouth of the cave entrance would suffice.
I am eagerly awaiting your photographs if you would be so kind as to provide them. Photographic proof of their tiny tools and weapons would launch our understanding of these monsters leaps and bounds beyond what we know currently.
UPDATE 03/13/2008 - 11:15pm CST
Today has been a maelstrom of events! Where do I begin?
Oh.. yeah.. how about.. I'M GOING TO ARGENTINA!
My world has been turned upside-down in just a matter of days thanks to this little ugly shuffling gnome!
I was contacted yesterday afternoon by Ripley Entertainment, Inc. (of 'Ripley's Believe It Or Not!' fame) about setting up some kind of e-mail correspondence with three field observers they're sending down to Salta, Argentina on the 27th of March. I was given a phone number to one of their corporate organizers named Matt Kharls and told to get in touch with him at their Orlando office ASAP.
Long story short: I asked (begged) Matt to allow me to travel with their observers, paying my own way of course, and surprisingly he was totally receptive to the idea! So.. that's it. I'm taking 6 days off work starting March 27th to go do whatever it is the Ripley's observers plan on doing to prove or disprove The Terror Gnome!
I've never been so excited about anything in my entire life. I have no idea what to expect.. I've done absolutely no research on actually traveling there, but Matt said he will send me all the itinerary and flight details soon. I don't even know what freaking season it is there.. What kind of weather should I dress for?
Anyway, this is huge news for me, but I also have some other awesome news! The guy who wrote me yesterday about the weapon he found during a hike in the Ontario wilderness sent me an actual photograph of this little knife! This is a crudely constructed blade quite obviously crafted for a person of very small stature, but unmistakable in its intent:
I finally got my camera working. And now, after digging it out of long-term storage, I realized I had erred about the wooden handle. The knife in it's entirety is constructed of found materials. From the makeshift small rusted guard to the dirty plastic handle, it looks to have been made of scavenged and home-made materials.
It is to be hoped that much can be learned from studying the terror gnome's arsenal, before it is too late!
P.S., there was a distinct stench around the opening of the den as you have so astutely assumed, though I cannot recall anything quite foul enough in the area to account for such an odour."
If this knife represents the pinnacle of Terror Gnome technology then I am of the firm belief that an adult of average size would stand a moderately good chance of being able to defeat a Terror Gnome in hand-to-hand armed combat. I would recommended, however, that any potential Terror Gnome hunters keep a fresh supply of bandages and Neosporin, as well as getting their tetanus shots up to date.
This photo dispels a great deal of skepticism; what other purpose could it possibly have except to arm a very small humanoid? You would not craft a knife such as this for an infant, yet who besides an infant could even wield such a blade?
The Terror Gnome! That's who!
UPDATE 03/20/2008 - 11:24am CST
First, apologies that I have not had any time to update this site. I've literally done nothing for the past week but finish up a few tasks at work and prepare for my trip to Argentina. There are countless e-mails in my mailbox, many of which are absolute goldmines of information, and I will get to them all as soon as possible!
Earlier this week I purchased my ticket with Delta and affirmed that all travel documents were in order. Ripley's has sent me a basic itinerary:
RIP4039_KHARLS_0308_Itenerary.doc
There isn't a whole lot of info really.. It appears they pretty much play things by ear, which I guess is a necessity when going to an under-developed area like General Guemes. I am a bit nervous just being thrown into the middle of it, but I know this is going to be an amazing once-in-a-lifetime adventure.
All of the guys at work put some money together and bought me a Terror Gnome travel package, complete with a Spanish To English dictionary, Sony Digital Camera, First Aid Kit (with Neosporin!), a surgeon's mask (?), and a used combat knife. I think the knife will probably need to go into the check-in baggage, but I'm definitely going to take it with me just as a security measure. Maybe I'll get an opportunity to attack The Terror Gnome! Who knows?
UPDATE 03/20/2008 - 2:17am CST
I just received an e-mail from a man named Bryan who claims to have found a collection of small tools outside of a badger hole in Wisconsin. This is almost as compelling as the knife, and begs the same questions: If not a Terror Gnome, then who would craft such a tool? Is the purpose of this for building and repair work, or something more sinister such as the torture of captured human children?
What is the connection with badger holes and these crude implements? If these were found outside of, say, pack rat dens it would certainly cast the dim light of suspicion. It is well know that badgers are not hoarders; a badger would have little use for this device as they obviously lack in opposable thumbs without which operation becomes not only impractical, but nearly impossible!
Readers: I would be very leery of badger holes, or any earthen vacancies, as potential homes for local Terror Gnome cells. Strong odors closely resembling a locker room paired with tiny metal tools strewn about are a major cause for alarm.
Keep your eyes peeled and your noses clean.
UPDATE 03/22/2008 - 7:34pm CST
The Terror Gnome website has had an impressive surge in visits this weekend with over 7,000 hits in the past day! My e-mail is so full that I'm having trouble keeping up with all the great stories, links to articles, drawings and photos coming in; but please DON'T STOP SENDING ME YOUR MAIL!!
I spent three hours on the phone with one of the Ripley's observers last night who is a wonderful young lady named Jan. She has an impressive lust for knowledge, and is an expert in all things strange. Her most incredible story was of a month-long stay in the black heart of the Conganese jungles where she was able to make contact with a group of rebel freedom fighters. This tribe had been practicing cannibalistic war-craft since before recorded history! She was actually offered human flesh (how vile!) as part of a sacrificial ceremony to their god of war -- her guide told her that to turn it down was an affront to them and their god, and so she was forced to sample the meaty morsel cut from a young man killed right before her eyes!
I hope I get a story or two like that for my grandchildren out of Argentina!
--
I got a laugh out of this, so I thought maybe you guys would too:
My name is Thomas Harper. I have spent the past week or so investigating said 'Terror Gnome' and other possible links to the aforementioned. After careful cross referencing and extensive study on the matter, I have composed and attached a very basic composite sketch of what the terror gnome may look like based on the video provided and other sources referring to an Argentinian 'leprechaun', 'midget', 'gnome', or 'sprite.' Please note that there is far more research to be done and this sketch is in no way completed. Feel free to contact me if you desire more information or resources which I utilized to base this sketch off of.
Sincerely,
Thomas Harper, Ph.D.,
São Paolo, BrazilATTACHED:
Thank you so much for your sketch, Thomas! I can almost feel the cold copper of that crude little shank he is waving about! (or is that a magic wand?)
UPDATE 03/23/2008 - 2:00am CST
It is late. I often stay up watching The Terror Gnome video for hours.. over and over, perhaps hoping to see something I've missed in the past thousand replays. I could not concentrate tonight, however, after receiving a very upsetting e-mail.
This disturbing tale is from a woman who claims that she was brutally attacked by a band of small, ugly pygmies in her youth. She told me of how she was walking her dog Mark-O one evening in 1994 near her family home in a suburb of Boulder, Colorado.
Three little "men" came at her swiftly from under a low-hanging copse of trees -- one grabbing Mark-O by his neck and instantly killing the poor animal with a brutally sharp downward twist. The other two man-like creatures immediately set about striking at her with powerful, squat little arms and fists, delivering painful blows to her knees and thighs. She was able to escape only by the merit of her longer running strides, but she says after the incident she has never been able to truly relax while alone outside of her home.
When she and her father returned to the place of the attack the next morning to retrieve her deceased dog, no hint of a body was to be found. His leash, however, was discarded nearby still attached to its collar... which had most disturbingly been "gnawed" through, as she put it.
Her victimization has renewed my lagging anger and fury with these small human-like horrors. I am by no means advocating violence or persecution of those of the small-statured persuasion, but I think we can all agree that the Little Person community of this world needs to take a step forward and pro-actively work with us in dealing with The Terror Gnome menace. They are not part of the problem as such, but they certainly aren't part of the solution either.
UPDATE 03/23/2008 - 6:09pm CST
Terror Gnome: 1
Google Pages: 0
The Terror Gnome website was temporarily shut down by Google because apparently getting 20,000 hits in a single day doesn't fly -- damn them and their free service they provide me at no cost or obligation!
So I purchased some back-end hosting for the images. That is just how dedicated I am!
I'm trying to get together some huge update for Monday and Tuesday because my flight leaves Wednesday around noon for Bolivia. My luggage is packed, the bills are paid, and the neighbor is going to feed my cockatiel Juicy while I'm away.
I have spared Juicy the upsetting details of my quest for The Terror Gnome, but I am confident that he would gaily wet his beak in their blood should one of those little demons dare step foot into the gnome-free sanctuary which is my home.
UPDATE 03/25/2008 - 9:05am CST
Things have become very hectic with the finalization of travel details, and I regret that I've not had enough time to read all of your e-mails or update this site as much as I had hoped. There was some confusion with my passport and vaccinations which lead me to believe I would not be able to go to Argentina (because of my flight landing in Bolivia), but apparently everything is going to be fine and I've been assured that I am good to go.
My next major concern is with personal security, and I plan on following the wise words of one of my fans, Sergio from Bolivia:
"Some words of advice. I'm sure other people told you this already.
1. Dress low when you walk the streets. If you're blond or look American or European pickpockets and hustlers WILL target you. And you don't want to be held at gunpoint. Try to wear a casual wife beater and swim shorts with cheap sandals. Nothing fancy.
2. Don't drink the tap water because your body is not used to it. You will most certainly get an infection.
3. Try to avoid going out at night after 10pm and always always always be with someone after 7pm. The streets are rough here."
I'm going to make a stop at Wal-Mart after work today to stock up on wife-beaters, swim shorts (the bright floral variety!), and cheap sandals. I'll try to get a departing picture posted of myself in full South American "Please Don't Rob Me" tourist regalia.
I've had countless requests from people wanting to meet me on my journey at every possible stop along the way: Although I would love to meet all of you, I simply don't know the exacts of my schedule enough to make specific meeting plans -- I would hate to disappoint anyone! I promise I will take plenty of photographs and document the trip as it happens when I have access to the Internet. I'm told I can find Internet Cafes all over the place, so making regular updates shouldn't be a problem.
On another note, it appears the site will receive its 50,000th hit today right on the 2-week mark. That's an average of about 3 page views every minute since the site's creation! I had no idea this would take off so quickly, but I truly appreciate all of you who take the time to read and write to me. Hopefully the mystery of The Terror Gnome will become slightly less opaque in the near future!
One final word: My friends at work suggested I set up a CafePress.com store to sell Terror Gnome t-shirts, not only to help offset the cost of having to host the images myself, but also because they all want Terror Gnome t-shirts!
My only concern is that advertisements would harm the integrity of the site and make some believe this is just a marketing scam -- I promise you that it is not! My intentions from the start were to create a Terror Gnome "fan site", and that shall remain my intentions throughout. If I do decide to add some CafePress.com merchandise, I will try to keep the advertisement as non-invasive and tasteful as possible.
UPDATE 03/25/2008 - 5:15pm CST
The e-mail responses to the idea of Terror Gnome merchandise was outrageously positive. People apparently *really* want t-shirts, so I took a little arts and crafts time today to design some Terror Gnome logos. I will have something set up this evening for all of you who are interested.
UPDATE 03/25/2008 - 7:31pm CST
I've put up a few offerings at http://www.CafePress.com/TerrorGnome
Let me know if you have any suggestions or comments, or would like to see them on something else.
UPDATE 03/26/2008 - 11:20pm EST
I'm currently at JFK International Airport in New York awaiting a late flight out to Viru Viru International in Santa Cruz, Bolivia. I am totally exhausted, but also unbelievably excited about all of this! I'm actually doing it!
For the first time in my life I really feel like I'm living. I'm doing something REAL. Not sitting at a desk making some rich guy more money, or playing mindless video games, or talking about nothing to nobody important.
I'm going somewhere I want to go to chase a dream that is totally my own. I will prove or disprove The Terror Gnome in the next week -- That is my personal mission, and my promise to all of you.
.. I'm getting a lot of odd looks here.. probably because of what I was told to wear, but it is going to save me a ton of hassle (and possibly my life) once I'm walking the rough streets of South America. Here's a picture I was able to get my neighbor (the cute girl next door watching over Juicy for me) to take before I left.
Are you ready Argentinean Terror Gnome?
Here I come!
UPDATE 03/27/2008 - 10:42pm BOT
I'm here, finally, at Viru Viru. I ended up being stuck at JFK for 6 hours because of some mechanical shutdown of Delta flights for mass inspection, but they got me here so I can't complain too much.
Above is the view I snapped with my iPhone as we landed in Santa Cruz. It's night, but the moon is bright and beautiful! The airport doesn't look like a whole lot from the outside, but it isn't all that bad (and more than I expected in a third-world country). They have free wireless Internet which is more than we get at my local airport back home.
I haven't really slept or bathed in over 24 hours so I need to find a hotel immediately. I called Matt at Ripley's and it sounds like the Jan and the others are going to be getting in late as well, so I'm going to head out and see what kind of place I can find for the night.
I feel pretty comfortable here. Things are not at all as tough-looking as I was lead to believe they would be. The only warning sign posted by the gate exit was this one:
Whatever, buddy! I'll let vandal and thefts hand themselves to the police right away.. Don't they teach English in the schools here?
I smell like a Yeti in heat. Time to find out where one can get a shower and bed in this hole. I'll update again in the morning.
update 3/29...
im back in america.
after i made the last update i left the airport to find a cab to a hotel. i asked two teenagers standing outside where to get a cab at they laughed at me and one of them pulled out a knife and told me to give him money.
long story short they took my wallet and my shoulder bag which had my laptop and overnight things in it
i was very upset and confused and needed to find a policeman immediately. i wandered down the street for a few minutes and asked someone where the police station was.. he pulled a fucking gun out... who the hell does this to other people...
i refused to give him anything. i told him i had just been robbed and he laughed and hit me in the face with the gun. i struggled with him briefly but he hit me in the face over and over and i guess i was knocked out. when i woke up he had taken everything even my god damn sandals i bought at wal-mart.
i went back to the airport and slept in the baggage return area until the ripleys people showed up. they refused to travel with me and told me i needed to just go home and that they would pay for the ticket.
so yeah. im home, and im totally messed up.
ive learned a lot from this.
give up your hopes. dont be a dreamer. who cares if the terror gnome was real or fake anyway.. i dont anymore.
also Juicy got out of his cage while the neighbor was feeding him and the cat killed him. so not everything turned out bad right?
UPDATE 03/30/2008 - 2:43am CST
After a full day's rest, a good shower, and a visit to the doctor for some perscription pain medication I'm doing much better. I'm still upset over how things went on my vacation, and I have to admit that I feel quite a bit of disillusionment, but I have received a lot of e-mails which were mostly positive.
One person suggested I design a new shirt to commemorate my adventure, which I have:
I'll be adding this to the store tomorrow, as well as some other items which were requested over the past week.
I gave Juicy a little funeral today. In a way, The Terror Gnome was able to take something precious from me by simply existing. Perhaps he wove a vicious tapestry of deception and pain and I allowed myself to become entangled in his web? Poor Juicy paid the price for my lack of perception.
Good-night sweet prince, and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.
UPDATE 06/12/2008 - 10:19am CST
Hello again, readers. I have receieved literally thousands of emails since my return from Argentina; many of them were upbeat asking me not to throw in the towel, but just as many were harsh and cruel. I've been accused of being a coward, a quitter, and a liar who faked the entire thing. This is all very hurtful considering what I've gone through since then.
A few days after the attack and return trip I started to lose feeling in my feet and hands. It turns out that the pistol-whipping did some serious nerve and brain tissue damage, which has been progressively getting worse. Long story short: I'm currently confined to a wheelchair unable to walk properly. I lost my job because I couldn't do what they needed me to do. I'm living with friends who have been gracious enough to take me in, but requested that I move out by the end of this month.
I don't really have anywhere to go but I'll figure something out.
I know I've let many of you down, but I just don't have the mental or physical strength to continue my search for The Terror Gnome. I can hardly wash myself in the morning, to be perfectly honest.
I'm sorry I let so many of you down. The Rippley's Believe It Or Not people will not return my e-mails or phone calls, so I don't have any information to report on that front.
Again, I'm sorry.
